You’ve read the title, now let’s jump into it.

I don’t understand why society tells women how to dress and behave in order to avoid sexual attacks.

How about, I don’t know, we um…. bring up our boys to understand rape and violence against women is wrong???!!! A woman can be wearing a trench coat or a mini skirt, she did nothing to invite an attack.

I don’t understand why in America, you can buy a gun but you can’t access free healthcare.

I know this is a simplification of a complex issue, but when you boil it down, you’re left with this.  Here in the UK, it’s inconceivable that someone would have to pay for a life-saving operation.  It’s also unthinkable that you and your neighbours would have guns in your homes, for ‘protection’.

I don’t understand why people are surprised that historical abuse victims can take years to come forward.

Imagine going through a traumatic, abusive experience, perhaps repeatedly, by someone in a position of power.  A parent, a teacher, a TV star.  In this situation, there is little to suggest that the victim would run to the authorities.  They feel isolated and believe they will be accused of lying.  Years later, other victims come forward.  They finally decide they can do so too.  Isn’t THAT a far more likely scenario?

I don’t understand why education is the be-all and end-all.

Remember being at school and the teachers reciting, “These exams are the most important of your lives”?.  You could go from classroom to classroom hearing the same thing.  Absence from school is treated as the worst thing ever.  However, you know what makes less sense? Forcing children who are being bullied or are genuinely ill into school.  Wellbeing and mental health is more important than exam results.

Tell me what you don’t understand?

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  • I’m with you on all of these things, Llinos. The one that’s winding me up the most at the moment, or in fact when any abuse story comes out about a celebrity, is that people think victims are ‘jumping on the bandwagon’. Unfortunately, the reality is that some people cannot understand the way victims feel about it; the feeling of being blamed (see your first point, where it’s assumed the victim was ‘asking for it’ because of the way they dressed, or something else), the worries about having your career destroyed and name tarnished because you dared speak out. It’s sad that for some people their initial thought is “they’re jumping on the bandwagon” and not “wow, what can we do to stop this happening in the first place, and to create a safe space for people to come forward if it does happen?”

  • It grinds my gears that people can think that those who have been abused immediately go to the police station. I wish that environment existed, where victims feel they can come forward quickly. The statistics of how many rapes go unreported are shocking.

  • I think one of the biggest problems is that you expect you would react a certain way to that kind of violation, but the reality is that very few people do go straight to the Police. I do honestly think that some people who have that opinion aren’t being rude, it’s just so unfathomable to them that it doesn’t make sense to their mindset.

  • Yes, there’s an expectation and the reality can be very different.

  • I am so with you on all of these. It angers me something chronic that guns are so readily available to buy in the USA, and yet there are people who can’t get the healthcare they need because it costs so much! Great post! x x

  • It makes no sense at all does it!!! Thanks hun x

  • Yes yes yes! This post resonated so much with me! Why women are asked “what were you wearing?” as if it’s their fault that they’ve been sexually assaulted just baffles me – you can be sexually assaulted if you go out in dungarees and a parka, or if you go out in a miniskirt, it MAKES NO DIFFERENCE and it’s not the victim’s fault! Grrr! The American healthcare system is also very odd, makes us realise how lucky we are to have the NHS even if we all moan about it from time to time!

    Abbey 💗

  • Food & Baker

    Omg this this this, we honestly have thought about these things at least once in our lives. Totally agree with it all!

    Jessica & James | /

  • Yes so glad it resonated!

  • Yes Abbey so glad you are on my wavelength with these things! Sooo grateful for the NHS.

  • Kate

    I literally agree with all of this – it completely resonates! Great post.
    Kate x

  • Thanks Kate!

  • Lifethrough Tsg

    I agree with this post, massively. Great post, a real stand out!
    Love Hayley X

  • Aw thanks Hayley x